How to lull a baby to sleep in his own bed.

There are parents, who let their babies to sleep with them in one bed (because it’s easier). In my opinion, it isn’t wrong. Baby feels safe near mum and dad. It’s much easier to feed him, to calm him. I did the same with both of my children. I let them sleep in our bed up to a one year age.

            At first you have to believe that your baby has grown up. You have to want let him sleep in his single bed. Do you remember that baby feels your mood and anxiety? You have to be still and be sure about your decision. If you decided to lull your baby in his bed, you never should retreat from this (even if you haven’t slept for two days because of baby's crying). If you give up, he will remember and next time will cry and wait when you will give up again. There’s need of toughness.

            There are many ways how to do that. It depends of you and your baby. I will tell about methods that I used with my children.

            My son was 1,5 years old, when I started to lull him in his bed. It took so long, because we moved to our new house and I didn’t wanted to stress him. I let him to sleep in our bed for a few more months. We bought him new bed like in picture  (that was the inducement also) and on first days (approx. 3, as I remember) I put him into bath, then followed teeth cleaning. After these procedures we went to his room, he put on the pajama (slowly, with no stress). I was absolutely still and ready for long time crying. Then I read him fairy tale (first was long, I wanted to get him tired). Of course, it was much later than usually. Then I put him into his bed, covered him, switched on nightligt and told him, that now he have to sleep. While he’ll get asleep mommy will wait. Everything was great until this moment :) After about an hour or more (crying, yelling, getting out of bed) he finally felt asleep. I won! Next day were worse, because he understood what I’m doing :) I even had to sing (when he started to talk, he told me – mommy, please do not sing), I’m really bad singer. But after these two days, things got better and better. Finally, after about 3 weeks he felt asleep in 5 minutes. On first week after two horrible evenings, I held his hand while he felt asleep. He didn’t accepted any teddy bears or other toys in his bed.

            My daughter now is one year old and now I am trying the same on her :) She needs different access.

            When she was about 7 months old, I made big mistake. I thought – this isn’t my first child, I am smart now, I will try to lull her in bed earlier than son. My mistake was the way I choose. I started to lull her on my hands, surely she got used to it. It isn’t good way. I’m still alive, because she weights a little, she’s very small for her age. If baby is bigger or really big, your hands can just fell off :).  

            I am still „in process” with her, but looks like things are getting better. Bedtime is later. About half an hour before bedtime I do not allow her to romp around (if I let her, lulling time is much longer). Then I wash her in shower or bath. Then I put her on pajama, turn on nightlight. I am still breastfeeding, so I feed her and after that I put her into her bed. If she’s really tired she needs about 10 to 5 minutes to fall asleep. If she’s not, it can take even 1, 5 hours of crying, etc. And she wants me to lull her on my hands.. :( When she starts to cry, I take her, hug her and tell her that she have to sleep, mommy will be happy if she will do that. After that I put her back in her bed. It works usually. I think it works, because she feels safe and she also understands that I am here with her and I am still, not nervous. In my opinion, that’s the key :)She also have a ritual  - I have attached to her bed few toys like in picture.  After feeding I put her in bed and before sleeping she always plays with them (a little bit). Maybe you can do the same. But these toys should be for bedtime only and you shouldn’t put your baby in his bed just for fun, etc. Bed is only for sleeping.

Baby and Weekday.

Baby, especially when he’s small, is all your world. Baby requires almost all of your attention. He does it, because he is scared. 9 months he spent in your belly. In your belly baby were in dark and partly quiet environment. The most distincted sound were your heartbeats. That’s the reason why baby wants to spend all of time in your hands. He just want to hear his well-known sound. Surround of him looks big, loud and scarry. Your task is to make baby’s life and adaption in this scarry, big world much easier.

            At first time your husband should let you spend almost all the time with your baby. Of course, baby remembers daddy’s voice, but that’s all. Your husband will spend more time with your child, when baby will be a few weeks old (starting from 3 weeks). It doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t hug him or take him on his hands. As I wrote, you are baby’s world (on first few weeks). Just you. Everybody should respect it. Mainly it concerns to garnny’s and garnddaddy’s. They should respect the little baby’s need for mother. It is important when baby is small, only few weeks old. Baby will be happy to communicate (like sitting on the granddaddy's lap) after 6 months.

            Baby 0 – 3 months. Baby’s sight isn’t quite good, this means that you should come closer to him if you are talking to baby. Everything looks misty. On first month he doesn’t distinquish colours. First colour later comes red. This means that first baby’s rattle should be black and white, maybe with some red elements. It shouldn’t be loud (if there’s some sound). The best playing for that small baby would be looking to your face (close enough to him). You can show him some rattles, but don’t scare him with noisy ones :). You definitely should sing to your baby. Doesnt’t matter that you can’t sing, he will be your biggest fan :)

            Baby 3-6 months. Your baby now is more dapper. Maybe he already can crawl. He is interested in anything and any noise, voice, person that he sees or hears. You should put him on the floor and give some (ok, few) toys. Baby will take them, taste them, that’s his playing. On this age, baby wants more of your attention. Mostly, because he’s scared of his new abilities like crawling, maybe of his „baby language” too. You can give to your baby also some some spoons (I prefer wooden spoons), some metal or plastic bowls, boxes.You can pour in some plastic bottle peas (this can be great rattle). Make sure, that bottle is closed.

            Baby 6 – 9 months. Now your baby is mobile by himself. He wants to taste everything on his way. Any dangerous thing should be removed to not disturb baby’s world exploring. It will be easier to you also because you won’t have to run after him and shout „don’t, don’t!!”. Now toys depends from your imagination and resources.

            Baby 9 – 12 months. Baby already is able to crawl. In next weeks he will start to learn walking. My oldest child started to walk, when he was only 9 months old, but my daughter started to walk only now, when she is 1 year old. Difference is huge, especially if doctors, granny’s and books tells that girls starts to walk earlier than boys. You can offer to your baby some baby books with thick sheet. You can give to him some balls (not very big) made from plastic or fabric. Your baby definitely will estimate some cars and dolls or maybe even game dishes (be careful with these toys, never let baby alone with them). Some of baby’s is starting to „dance” when hears music. You can sing and dance togeather. Believe me, he will be excited :).

Baby is crying. 0 – 6 months.

All babies cry even if your friend tells you that her kids never cried (that’s a lie :) ). Baby can’t speak. Crying is his language. If you pull yourself togeather and understand this (in the middle of shouting) your life will get much easier.

            As the crying is babies language (especially when he is very small), there are many tones, volume levels and some action at the crying time. With time you will learn how to recognize if baby wants to eat, wants hugs, he is angry, diaper is wet or he just wants to cry :) .

            When baby is very small, only few days old I can understand your confusion and worry about baby’s crying. But usually he stops crying when you hug him. If he doesn’t, then you have to check the chain: maybe he’s hungry, diaper can be wet, maybe he has abdominal pain or he’s just angry with some of these things.

            Later baby will make his own eating regime. Afterwords you will understand that baby is hungry and now it is „lunch time” :). Approximately after a half an hour you should check your baby’s diaper. At this time babies usually „fill” their diapers :). If you do this at the time maybe you will avoid from another crying show.

            If you have fed him and diaper is dry, maybe there’s some pain which is disturbing the baby.

There can be abdominal pain if baby is under 3 months. Of course, you can’t be sure of that, but try to calm him. At first you can take off the diaper (maybe all of clothes off). Usually babies stop crying because they like to be naked (about 9 months baby lived in your belly without any clothing), it’s just natural. Leave him naked about half an hour, you should put him on his belly. Hug him if he starts crying, then put on his belly again. He will feel better even he spends only a few minutes on his belly.

Lying on belly is important because abdominal pain rises from belly bloating. Belly bloating comes from lack of enzymes (usually). When baby is just born, he has enzymes from you and they are more if you do breastfeeding. Time passes and baby starts to loose enzymes which he got from you. His own enzymes is just starting to form and they are not enough to digest the food. This happens between 2 and 4 months (fairly). You can do some exercises on the big fitness ball.

There can also be dairy intolerance. In severe cases also chicken and eggs. It is in case if you do breastfeeding. If not, maybe you should change baby milk producer. But these things you should discuss with your pediatrician.